just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
