At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
