mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
