god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
