i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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