So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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