'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
worst night to have a conscience
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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