weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
