Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
