I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
