Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
