You just made me feel so damn special
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
