STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you had me at cake vodka
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize