I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I smell stomach acid.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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