Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
