she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
