Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
