Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
