where am i from again
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize