Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize