and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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