i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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