I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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