After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
