What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
