You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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