Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
