I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
