do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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