There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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