I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i dont even know how to be here
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
