It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
