The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
