oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
