My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
