Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
