sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
