on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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