Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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