I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
