just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
