i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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