The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's a Shit stain on my heart
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
