I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
