Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Did I show you my penis last night?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize