awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize