Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
