he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
