Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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