I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
