I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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