Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
