Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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