i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
After tacos, we're chasing women.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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