I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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