Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
