She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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